When I had less than 5,000 followers I would always imagine what it would be like having 50,000 followers. 50,000 people who admire your work, wow! How does their phone not explode with all the notifications? I've always dreamt of something bigger—I still do. Now I'm sitting at over 160,000 followers and I seem to be more unhappy than ever before. I had this expectation that a lot of followers equaled success equaled happiness but that's not usually the truth. People struggle to even gain success after having a lot of followers let alone being happy.
The truth is I have 160,000 people who follow me to see my work and that's it. Some of them don't like me, some of them want to call me out on anything I do wrong and some of them even sabotage my relationships with people and companies (which is something I was never accused of. Have you ever played that game Telephone where the further along something gets passed, the further away from the truth it gets?) People love to hate me. I make it so easy for them. I happily quit my job, dropped out of school and photograph some of the most beautiful women in the world. What's not to hate? I honestly don't want to sound like I'm bragging but no one is going to admit that they're jealous. Boyfriends don't like me, I've lost real life friends because I unfollow people and I even received an incredible amount of hate because I wanted to help new photographers. People love to hate me.
I jokingly told one of my friends that I'm playing the photography game on hardcore mode. That statement is not too far from the truth.
Now to recap, I photographed Rebecca three times. At no point did she express discomfort or say no. Two of those shoots I was accompanied with a friend and a girl I was seeing. They also remember everything differently than her. Instead of Rebecca ever confronting me about it, she took to the internet to let it all out a year and a half after our last shoot. It has damaged my reputation tremendously. Here are some of the things people were saying about her blog post:
A few days after her post I couldn't bring myself to log online to read all the horrible things people were saying about me so I stopped looking and I stopped screenshotting. I felt a complete sense of helplessness and guilt that maybe I did do all of these things and I am a horrible, horrible person. But the following are screenshots are conversations between her and I at points in between our three shoots that she neglected to show any of you:
Now put yourself in her shoes. Imagine that you went to a shoot with a stranger and he "forced" you to get naked. Would you say some of the things Rebecca said to your perpetrator? Would you want to go on a road trip with them or get sad when they can't make it to your party? Would you ever say "Did you like any of the nudy ones?" to him? The only answer is no. No, you wouldn't. You'd distance yourself, file a police report or confront him. Not shoot two more times with him. Even rats are smart enough to not eat cheese from a trap if they witness another rat killed by it. Rebecca fails to answer any of the questions that go against her blog post and gets called out for deleting comments.
I don't know about you but I watch a lot of Netflix. I've seen a lot of Law & Order: SVU, specifically. One of the methods attorneys use to weaken the strength of an unfavorable testimony is to cross-exam the witness. For those of you who don't practice law or watch SVU, it's basically ad hominem. Ad hominem is a fallacy in which an argument is rebutted by attacking the character, motive, or other attribute of the person making the argument. Here are some true examples:
- Rebecca Jurgens has had problems with multiple male photographers. A photographer took photos of their mutual friend. The model loved the photos and had a good time. Rebecca thought it would be nice to intervene and "speak on her behalf" and to force him to apologize (for literally nothing) and delete his Instagram. Rebecca wasn't even at the shoot.
- Rebecca uses emotionally driven subjects such as transphobia, extreme feminism and cultural appropriation to antagonize and provoke people. Here are her most recent Reddit posts. Keep in mind she goes back and deletes her comments that don't get enough of her support. Here she is calling someone a racist because they used a headdress in a photo.
- Rebecca physically assaulted her then best friend over a gram of weed. Her "apology" the next day consisted of "you probably shouldn't report it because we were both high and I don't want you to get in trouble." Now Rebecca is going around town telling everyone she beat her up.
I can keep showing some people fact after fact after fact that go against her accusations but people will still support her. Once someone has an idea planted in their head it's difficult to get them to change their mind. That's just human nature. She hides behind the feminism flag and claims this is an attack on women and an abuse of power. It is not. This is all about lying, deception and not taking responsibility for your actions. If after all of this you still don’t believe me, then I’m sorry for letting you down. But I will never, ever apologize for something I did not do.